The Friendship - Control Paradox
20.8.12 at 22:16.
I shall begin with a very long and over exaggerated
I have the utmost respect for my friend's wishes, like ridiculous amounts of respect. In moments of doubt, I have actually put my friends before myself and we all know that's sort of a big deal, coming from me. All that crap aside, what I have not, can not, and will not do is allow my friend's wishes to keep me from making connections that I know in my very soul are worthwhile. So, receiving a text from a friend telling me that they expect me to stop being 'friendly' with their potential girl toy whom I just happen to share a passion for Rumi and raves with, clearly puts me in a weird place. My initial response, of course, was to tell my friend to fuck all the way off...to inform her that she has no right to try to police my relationships...oh, and to remind my friend that I was the one who introduced the two to one another. Thanks in large part to my respect for my friend, I bit my tongue and took a much needed step back to calm my emotions. I could be spiteful and continue to be friendly with my new lady acquaintance on the low, but the truth of the matter is that she does not deserve that; to be put into the category of a 'secret' and/or 'undercover' anything. Our potential friendship shouldn't be kept under wraps, it should be allowed to flourish in the same open sun-drenched environment that have been the site of our many picnics.
Long story short, as much as I respect my friends, I need for them to understand that I will talk to whomever the hell I wish to, and on the converse end, I need to believe that they trust me enough to know that my interest is pure, with no probability of interfering with their intentions. Without that level of reciprocity, we might as well just dead whatever friendship I think we have right now.
In fact, I may say just that.